Navigating The Dating Scene Pillows

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"I need a man transplant."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'There may be snow on the roof, but there's still fire in the basement!' 'Indigestion!'

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Tasty.

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Alligator Bars

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"I need a man who will commit."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Nah! He's not my type.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Dorothy and the singles bar

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

'...by using lightning and the flesh of the undead. Luckily, he turned out to be a charming fellow and brilliant raconteur.'

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."