Navigating The Dating Scene Gifts

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"I need a man transplant."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'There may be snow on the roof, but there's still fire in the basement!' 'Indigestion!'

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Tasty.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Alligator Bars

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"I need a man who will commit."

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

Dorothy and the singles bar

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

'...by using lightning and the flesh of the undead. Luckily, he turned out to be a charming fellow and brilliant raconteur.'

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

"Don't ever give up, Marjorie. I never thought I'd meet anyone either."

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.