Navigating Dating Pillows

"If you just used your eyes you'd see plenty of men!"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"Believe me, you're not the first guy who tried to impress a date by saying the book was better than the movie not knowing it was never a book."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"I need a man who will commit."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

Just because you can pick up a dumbell at the gym doesn't mean you have to date him!

'So baby, ever thought about being on the bottom?'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

'More champagne please.' 'I see what you meant by bubbly personality.'

"Sometimes I get the feeling your 'ex' is still in the picture."

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"This is Stan, my latest project."

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'