Navigating Dating Pillows

"If you just used your eyes you'd see plenty of men!"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"Believe me, you're not the first guy who tried to impress a date by saying the book was better than the movie not knowing it was never a book."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I need a man who will commit."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'I keep looking for a keepr, and all I find are fixer-uppers.'

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

'So baby, ever thought about being on the bottom?'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

"Sometimes I get the feeling your 'ex' is still in the picture."

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

'More champagne please.' 'I see what you meant by bubbly personality.'

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

Just because you can pick up a dumbell at the gym doesn't mean you have to date him!

"This is Stan, my latest project."

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'

"Oh, that's my cousin, Trevor... He's always had this animal magnetism..."

'For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.'