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'For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Tasty.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

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"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

"I need a man who will commit."

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"The catch of the day is me."

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

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Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"