Dating Scene Navigator Pillows

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'

I told my friend I was looking for a stable relationship, and she fixed me up with a centaur.

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'Well admit it, we're both here for the same reason.'

'So baby, ever thought about being on the bottom?'

"My friend finds you attractive....would you mind going outside to check on her seeing-eye dog?"

"I'm divorced - not certifiably pre-owned!"

"She's just being Koi."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"I just love a nice knight out."

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Alligator Bars

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I need a man who will commit."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"I really like smart women."

Relate on-line: An error of type 4807 has occurred in your marriage.

"The catch of the day is me."

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'