Single And Satisfied Gifts

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'Are you seeing anybody?'

I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Bachelor Cake

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

"Lucky!"

He's Tasty!

"Cute... But way too young."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Dating site algorithms never die, they just get re-formulated

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'