Silly Diner Stories Gifts

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

I recommend the ketchup.

'I'll have what he's having.'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

'Sorry, smile's off...'

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

Fish Waiter at the Fish 'n Chips Restaurant.

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

"Oh, yes, sir, the zebra is fresh."

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

'Sunnyside down.'

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

"I'm sorry, have you been grimacing long?"

'Separate cheques?'

'I'm sorry, but you can't take the leftovers home. They're all newly-patented items, and cannot leave the premises.'