Comical Dining Experiences Gifts

'Sorry, smile's off...'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

"Table five looks good. We’ll have that."

'What's the special?'

'The house wine sir.'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

'Is everything O.K.?'

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"