Silly Diners Gifts

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"More helium."

Sushi Train Spotters

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

I recommend the ketchup.

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

"Waiter! I need a doggie bag and a body bag, please."