Silly Diners T-Shirts

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Sushi Train Spotters

"More helium."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

I recommend the ketchup.

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)