Whimsical Diners T-Shirts

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Today's special... donuts.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"The usual."

Sushi Train Spotters

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'Will the gentleman prefer his mouse well-done, or will he be playing with it first?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"