Whimsical Dining Partner T-Shirts

"Both Ears This Way, thank you."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Cookbooks

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Flying sauces.

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"The usual."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"I've taken the liberty of adding eight thousand dollars to your check so that, while you're stunned with disbelief, I can bang your wife."

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

Egg Beater

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"Just eat the darn thing!"