Silly Chef Gifts

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"More helium."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

LAY ZEE FUK

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Alphabet soup

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Fridge-to-table"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"It's fondue night!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Noodle exchange program.

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

Intolerant Chef

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

Commie Chef.

Mixing Business and Pleasure