Messy Chef Gifts

'Since I cooked, you do cleanup. OK?'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bangers and Mash

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

GMOs: The Next Generation

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Better Not Squash.

Stupid Microwave

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Amy Sedaris

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Sushi Train Set.

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"More helium."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Cooking With Pollock.

Recipes.

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'What the devil is that?

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."