Messy Chef Gifts

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Better Not Squash.

Stupid Microwave

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Amy Sedaris

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"More helium."

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

Recipes.

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'What the devil is that?

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."