Messy Foodie Gifts

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

Eye of Newt Helper

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

'I'll trade you, sight unseen.'

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'