Messy Eater Gifts

'I don't mind the meat being carved at the table, but do the potatoes have to be mashed at the table?'

'Some food missed my mouth.'

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'Folks call me 'Noodles!'"

"Oops...you got a little pizza sauce there!"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

"Not eating right? But I haven't spilled a thing."

Messy Eater

"What happened to you?" "I've been eating blackberry pie!"

'Steady on,sir-that's not quite what it means!'

"For lunch? Spaghetti. Why do you ask?"

"Gesundheit!"

Man Ties Moustache to in a Knot to Prevent Stains.

'Must you practise karate on your egg every morning?'

Eating blackberry pie.

My little brother's a child of many moods, and judging from his appearance, also many flavors.

"I need a shirt that hides food stains."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Bus Stop. Ernie, you're a mess! I can tell you had eggs, toast and jelly for breakfast this morning. Hah! You're wrong! That was yesterday!

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Cooking With Pollock.

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Is it too late to substitute a bee in my coffee for a fly in my soup?