Fussy Foodie Gifts

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"But how do you know my sprouts aren't contaminated with novichok?"

"I know it's psychological, but me, I can't eat millipedes! The thought of all these dirty feet creeps me out..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'How is the water prepared?'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"More?"

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Michael, do your dinner."

"Looks like we'll be eating leftovers for a month!"

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

'Could we send the broccoli to Haiti?'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

'There is something wrong with the spinach. It tastes good.'

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Really, would it be asking too much for maybe a nice piece of cake?'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Faddy, fussy and pernickety eating. It's strictly the preserve of those without kids.

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"