Fussy Food Fans Gifts

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'How is the water prepared?'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"More?"

"Michael, do your dinner."

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"For regurgitated food, it's great, but the presentation..."

All You Can Eat

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

Waiting staff

'Do you, Freddie Finicky, promise to eat all your dinners up?'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'Could we send the broccoli to Haiti?'

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

'for the record, it tasted like black licorice.'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'I don't really hate vegetables, but if I eat them, what's next...GIBLETS?'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"You're not being punished, Kenny...Salad is what we're having for dinner."

'Really, would it be asking too much for maybe a nice piece of cake?'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'