Messy Gourmet Lover Gifts

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."