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'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Join me for dinner?

Haute Chinese

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."