Gourmet Lover Gifts

'It was a '67 Chateau d'Yquem? I say leave it on.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'Wow! This meal if fit for a king.'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'

'What wine goes well with venison?'

'You order the jumbo combo?'

'Lovely, how old is this Stilton?' - 'Lets put it this way, it used to be cheddar.'

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

'I suppose I must tell you about today's specials.'

"What do you recommend that's fit for a king?"

'As I was saying, the opening of the modern screwcap bottle just doesn't have the same glamour, as opening a cork-finished bottle.'

Vintage Berries

"Are you trying to tell me you don't serve pan seared sea bass?"

"If I photograph the food for my Instagram page do I still have to eat it as well?"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

The evolution of man

"I'd like the Parmesan grated, if you don't mind."

I want to learn to grow. You've come to the right place.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'The special today is Fritte en Fritte.'

Kitchen - Sign reads 'Out of Hors D'Oeuvres.'

"Want me to slap up something or do take away?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Bacon Lover

"Right now I'm enjoying that brief period between having just lost weight and putting it back on."

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."