Gourmet Admirer Gifts

'Granted, it's classified as a weed around here, but you have to agree its pollen is delicious...'

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

Bread Stall

Chef being protected by bodyguards from fat fans

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Holiday Supplies

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'