Gourmet Enthusiast Gifts

'Truffles again?'

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

'Oh great. All we've got to eat are fish.'

Dog Returns To Hunter With Bottle Of Champagne

'Hang on! Is it triple filtered?'

'What no garnish or side salad?'

Pig asking whether the farmers truffles are 'Rum or Champagne?'

"The food here is very good- a little oily, but good."

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

Do we have to watch Gordon Ramsey flambeing swordfish steaks in red wine while we eat our frozen fish cakes and instant mash?

'Chef has a Michelin star - But for being a loyal tyre customer.'

"Oh my God! I DO taste delicious!"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'Fresh ground pepper?'

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'After crab-cheese canapes, Brazilian fish chowder...'

What keeps me at my best is the feeling that anyone of them might be a restaurant critic.

'What are you doing putting ketchup on my souffle??? I worked all day on that! Are you out of your mind??'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Mm...diabolical!'

"Won't be long, folks. Just having some new menus printed."

Michael Winner

'Food in this restaurant is rather disgusting! -I agree! And look how small the portions are!'

"I found the offender with a stolen leg of lamb from the supermarket, Sir, and I asked him what he intended on doing with it. . ."

Haute Chinese

Fantastic, fit, fortysomething exec, interested in culture, athletic pursuits, and gourmet food, seeks intelligent, dynamic, thirtysomething beauty for evolving relationship leading marriage.

"I'm a lawyer, so I'll try the torte."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"So no one actually sends you compliments. Isn't this enough?"

Men discussing thier weight

"Excuse me, waiter? There's a hair in my soup."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."