Gourmet Food Aficionado Gifts

"I wanted to eat like the French... so I am having a burger with bearnaise sauce."

Come dine with me!

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'