Gourmet Aficionados Gifts

Luca Barocco's Cannoli Sectional

Butler asking if the meat is too hard

"Hey mister! I saw you eating that frog: are you French?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Haute Chinese

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Join me for dinner?

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"