Gastronomy Aficionados Gifts

'Hands up the table with the underdone lobster.'

Come dine with me!

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Try to guess the continent dining...

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Before/After

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

This Year's Spa

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Thermidor Dali

Join me for dinner?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

Haute Chinese