Chaotic Chef Gifts

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Cafe Burns.

Vegetable Cook

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

'You made me jump.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Recipes.

Cooking With Pollock.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

Cook and Octopus

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'The casserole didn't make it.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Out and In.