Kitchen Chaos Master Gifts

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Chef De Party.

Cooking

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Cook au vin

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.