Kitchen Chaos Master T-Shirts

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Chef De Party.

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Cook au vin

"I mean, he does have a point."

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."