Chaotic Kitchen Master T-Shirts

'MY mother used to use a smoke detector as a meal-timer too!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Jack of all trades

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Vegetable Cook

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Onion Tears

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Chef De Party.

'Do you want toast with that?'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.