Chaos Kitchen Captain T-Shirts

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Cookbooks

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

Recipes.

Disorder in the Court!

"I mean, he does have a point."

Cook and Octopus

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Naughty Puppy Dog.

'When an outboard goes overboard'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Tuppermalware

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

No wheelies.

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

"How come we have so many cookery books cluttering up the kitchen?...I mean, you obviously don't read any of them."