Chaos Cook T-Shirts

Woman wearing t-shirt reading 'I married a chemist.'

Cook and Octopus

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Cookbooks

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

Kitchen Tetris

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

'This is my natural habitat.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

Recipes.

Disorder in the Court!

"I mean, he does have a point."