Chaotic Cook T-Shirts

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

Ainsley Harriott: "..Then add the nuts!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Cookbooks

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Kitchen Tetris

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

Vegetable Cook

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Ten out of ten for effort...

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Disaster in the kitchen.

'You made me jump.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

It's all gravy.

Recipes.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Cooking With Pollock.

Cook and Octopus