Kitchen Chaos Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Better lay an extra place for the fireman, dear!'

A fight over kitchen equipment.

Mother annoyed at son drying plates in the toaster

Cook au vin

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Vegetable Cook

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Chef De Party.

Cooking

'Do you want toast with that?'

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"