Chaos Cooks Gifts

'She's in the middle of a category 5 stir fry. Can she call you back?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Cookbooks

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Future garbage truck driver.

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

Kitchen Tetris

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

Cafe Burns.

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'