Chaos Cooks Pillows

'She's in the middle of a category 5 stir fry. Can she call you back?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Cookbooks

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

Kitchen Tetris

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."