Kitchen Chaos Creator Pillows

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

Cookbooks

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Kitchen Tetris

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Chef De Party.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Disaster in the kitchen.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Cooking

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"I mean, he does have a point."

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Cook au vin

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'