Kitchen Chaos Creator Pillows

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

Cookbooks

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Kitchen Tetris

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Chef De Party.

Disaster in the kitchen.

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

Cook au vin

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."