Kitchen Chaos Architect Pillows

Mixed marriage: food fight

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Chef De Party.

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Cooking

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Cook au vin

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.