Kitchen Chaos Admirer Pillows

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

Kitchen Tetris

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Man's cooking explodes.

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

Vegetable Cook

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

Chef De Party.

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Disaster in the kitchen.

Cooking

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"I mean, he does have a point."

Cook au vin

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.