Kitchen Chaos Appreciator Pillows

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

"the Captain thinks it would be nice to have them boiled in their jackets tonight."

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Making a mess of fish.

'You've Got Mayo.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Man's cooking explodes.

Vegetable Cook

Ten out of ten for effort...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Chef De Party.

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Cook au vin

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

"Glad you have time for lunch today, honey."