Kitchen Chaos Aficionados Pillows

'Doctor said to burn more calories.'

An Energetic Susan.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Cafe Burns.

Vegetable Cook

Ten out of ten for effort...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Chef De Party.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Cooking

Disaster in the kitchen.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"