Kitchen Chaos Enjoyer Pillows

"Happy Mother's Day! I spelled out your name in toast!"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Vegetable Cook

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Chef De Party.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

It's all gravy.

'You made me jump.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'