Kitchen Chaos Enjoyer Pillows

"Happy Mother's Day! I spelled out your name in toast!"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Vegetable Cook

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Ten out of ten for effort...

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Chef De Party.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Cooking

It's all gravy.

Disaster in the kitchen.

'You made me jump.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).