Messy Cook Gifts

Cooking With Pollock.

"I'm making dirty rice."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

'It's a spork!'

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

Cook and Octopus

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'Well, duh, here's my problem...instead of non-stick spray, I bought Nun Stick Spray.'

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

'How did the 'creative way of thinking' course go?'

Who wants to lick the swatters.

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

"Surprise, mom! We made you breakfast on bed."

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf