Messy Cook Gifts

"I'm making dirty rice."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Cook and Octopus

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Well, duh, here's my problem...instead of non-stick spray, I bought Nun Stick Spray.'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

'How did the 'creative way of thinking' course go?'

"It's not a Jackson Pollock T-shirt, it's the pizza I had for lunch."

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"Surprise, mom! We made you breakfast on bed."

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

Woman wearing t-shirt reading 'I married a chemist.'

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

Messy Eater