Messy Meal Maestro Gifts

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'That was delicious! Do I have food on my face?'

'Let's skip dessert. My arms sore.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'What'll it be?'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

Oops.

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"I don't like it."

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"Cool game!"