Messy Meal Maestro T-Shirts

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

'That was delicious! Do I have food on my face?'

'Let's skip dessert. My arms sore.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'What'll it be?'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

Oops.

"Cool game!"

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"I don't like it."