Magic Meal Maestro T-Shirts

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Tartine

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Domestic Goddess.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Burnt or Raw?

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'What'll it be?'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"I don't like it."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."