Magic Meal Master T-Shirts

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Domestic Goddess.

Party time.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

A spider meal prepping

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

My Cauldron Rules

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"