Magic Meal Master T-Shirts

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Domestic Goddess.

Party time.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

My Cauldron Rules

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

A spider meal prepping

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"