Meal Maestros T-Shirts

'This plate is wet.'

'Is this the remains of last Sunday's beef roast, or something left over from the dawn of creation?'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

Tartine

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Burnt or Raw?

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'What'll it be?'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"Cool game!"

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"I don't like it."