Meat Maestros T-Shirts

"You're thinking of a different cut, Mrs Sigmond. This piece comes from about here."

'Must you always bring your work home with you?!'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"He's such a fussy eater."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Burnt or Raw?

A Tit for Tat.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'What'll it be?'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Pull the udder one

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Culinary surgery.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"