Messy Meal Masterminds Gifts

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Kitchen Kapers

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Oops.

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

"Say when!"

'Don't bother to leave a tip, I had one of your fish fingers.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'So this is what you meant when you promised to take me out for a 'three course meal'!'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'This is a bit awkward, but we'll have the chicken.'

Okay, little miss I-Hate-Everything-We're-Having-For-Dinner, do want the pouting or non-pouting section?

"I fed the baby but if you don't want to see the results look away now."

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'Let's see... you had scrambled eggs with ketchup, beans and sausages, one beer and two espressi. That'll be 15 euro and 80 cent, sir.'

'My wife always switches the smoke detector off when she cooks.'

Friends trying to have lunch with disruptive baby

'Let's skip dessert. My arms sore.'

'That was delicious! Do I have food on my face?'